peer review

Peer Reviewing is a good way to edit a paper or essay because you can get an opionion from others. I think the goal of peer review is to get an understanding of your mistakes and how you can really improve your writing from someone of your age. I also think it is a chance to get your mistakes pointed out so you will know how to write your paper better and how you can improve the next time you write an essay or papers for any class. You’ll have an idea of your grammar and punctuation errors and know how to do better next time.

 As a writer, I want to know what can I add or what I need to take out to make my paper better. It is helpful for me to know if I need more details or if I have too much unnecessary details. I like to know if the concept of my paper is good or if I need a better thesis or introduction. I like to know if I have a good enough conclusion and if not how should I change it.

To give the best feedback I would need to know what the paper is about and details about the topic. I need to know the concept of the paper and the main idea so I can know what I need to look for a correct.

I prefer a group size of no bigger than three because I can get an opinion from both people. I believe about 45 minutes would be enough time. I would like it if we could pick our own groups because I think that someone you know may be really honest since they are comfortable around you.

Scene depiction

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=scenes+from+pretty+little+liars

 

I picked a scene from pretty little liars. This scene starts out inside of a church at night. It is dark and quiet. The girl walks in the church and walks over to the guy. They talk in a calm suspenseful voice. There are candles around that make it appear to be a romantic setting. When the music starts playing in the background it makes it appear to be a thriller or suspenseful scene. The music also makes it seem a little mysterious.  The people in this scene know each other through a mutual friend. By their actions you can tell that they don’t like each other too much. The guy is being suspicious and by his face you can tell that he is up to no good. He is standing there in the church at night with no one around which gives off the impression that he was planning something bad.  He starts moving towards the girl letting us know that he is going to do something bad to her. The conversation doesn’t go to good.  By their conversation you notice that the girl is on to his secret. He is surprised by this and starts to chase after her. When he is walking towards her in the beginning, she is backing up as if she knows that something bad is going to happen. When he starts chasing after her, you get a vibe that he was feeling threatened by her. It is still dark and gloomy in this scene which gives off the impression of it being a thriller.

Plan of Action

The group I chose to observe is the Black Student Union (BSU). I chose this group because I have attended a few of their events around campus and I am interested in joining it. From observing this group, I hope to learn the main purpose of it. I am going to contact Unique Young who is the president of this organization. I will do that tonight and hopefully I get a respond by tomorrow.  There next meeting is this Wednesday which is when I am going to start observing. I believe that I will be allowed to take pictures. I would also like to talk to members that are part of this group.

Speech Analysis

I never had to watch myself give a speech before and it was very weird. I had a hard time coming up with a common thread that links my personality but once I had help finding one, it was pretty easy coming up with the stories. I only had trouble trying to come up with a story for the career section. I felt pretty good with the content of my speech and what I was talking about. I was just nervous to give the speech in front of the class. I tried not to show how nervous I was but you can kind of tell that I was. I rehearsed my speech in front of people multiple times and tried not to look down at my notecards. I also tried to make my speech longer than 3 minutes. When I actually got up and gave my speech I had seen that I could have done a lot better. I noticed that I kept looking down at my notecards which is what I was trying to avoid. My plan was to walk back and forth which is what I had rehearsed. When I watched the video of myself I noticed that I basically stayed in the same place and relied too much on my notecards. If I had more time to prepare for my speech I probably would try to do it without notecards and practice on not just staying in the same spot and moving around more. I would also try to not seem so nervous if I can.

Speech Outline

Ethos: My ethos is going to be relatable because I will be talking about personal experiences. Every time I have to talk in front of people I get nervous and talk fast. This is my weakness. I also run out of breath because of talking fast. To prevent this I need to practice in front of people to get comfortable.

Pathos: The emotion in this speech is happy because I will not be talking about anything negative.

Logos: Outline

Introduction: When you think of someone who is quiet, you usually don’t think of the positive. You may think of a person who is shy, antisocial, and have trouble making friends. Even though I’m quiet, this doesn’t apply to me. Me being quiet relates to how I am with my family, career, and entertainment.

Body Points

 Family: I am going to talk about my family and how I am a military brat and been that way my whole life. Moved around a lot. Lived overseas. I can be Spoiled.   Military brats are known to be quiet.

Entertainment: I am going to talk about how even though I am quiet, being a military brat made it easy for me to make new friends and talk to new people. College. I am also going to talk about how I was an athlete and love being involved in school. Since I am quiet I am a good listener.

Career: I am going to talk about how being a good listening has helped me with being a student and will help me through college and being a counselor one day. Since I am quiet I do hold back a lot.

Conclusion: Being quiet and a military brat are a big part of who I am. I can easily meet new people and I am a good listener.  You may think negative things about quiet people but with me it is not that way at all.

Speech/Monologue by Tyra Banks

Tyra Banks is a successful woman who gives good speeches about empowering young women. She doesn't have a show anymore but when she did she always talked about self-esteem and how to love yourself and accepet the way you are and be strong.

In these videos she is talking about the rumors of the media and the pictures they take that make celebrities look like that gained a lot of weight. She can relate to this because this is something that happened to her. This topic is relatable because we all have seen these kinds of pictures before. She is saying that nothing is wrong with being big or small and that all sizes are beautiful but the media tries to get nasty pictures.

 

Ethos: She has great eye contact with the audience and her posture and body language keeps them interested. The topic that she is talking about is relatable because everyone has seen pictures of celebrities in the paper and the internet that make them look like they gained about 40 pounds.

Pathos: She has an emotional connection with this topic because it has happened to her and she tells the story of this picture of her that has spread around the world. Because of this she stands on stage next to the picture with the same bathing suit on. She is saying that people are use to her looking small and slim, but have a problem with her look thick and a little big. She says that there is not a problem with being big or thick or skinny and if she didn't have confidents in herself she would have been starving herself. She wants all women to be confident in their body and be strong to take negative comments. She feels like that there is a problem with the world that have young girls upset over their body because they may feel it is not accpetable to society. Her purpose in the speech was to let everyone know that you cant always believe what you see on tv or the paper or the interent and that nothing is wrong with how you are built and dont stress over the negative comments people make.

Logos: She starts out with talking about the picture and how it made her feel. This grabbed the audience attention. She stated her purpose for telling this story and how she feels about it. She ends this speech saying that anyone who has something nasty to say about her or other women that has been put down or judged based on their body to kiss her fat ass.

NBA nerds

The way people dress has changed over the years especially for basketball players. Morris looks at the changes of wardrobe of these basketball stars. He notices the fashion styles of Blacks in America today has changed.  Years ago you would see basketball players were wearing baggy clothes and basketball shoes while now it is more of a nerd style. He was observing these styles at a basketball conference. Morris related these styles to Carlton off of the TV show Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. He was saying that the nerd style for blacks was looked upon as being white or rich black people living in the suburbs. The way Carton dressed in this show was nerdy and looked as being white. This style was looked down upon as not being cool. His character was known to be uncool. His style is not looked down on anymore. Other than basketball players, black rappers are starting to dress this way too. You can see now that the nerd look is being supported in the black culture. The white and nerd style is now acceptable. I remember years ago blacks always wore brands like Coogi Rockaware , and Baby Phat. Now the number of blacks that wear Hollister, Abercrombie & Fitch, and Aeropostal has been increasing.  When NBA stars and rappers wear the nerd glasses and button down checkered collared shirts, their fans dress that way too. I believe that Morris’s argument in this article is about the change in our society among the black culture. The nerd attire is not just what whites wear or what blacks wear but is acceptable among all races and now and to our American society.